Is it burnout or creative evolution?

A question I've been wrestling with

There are lightbulb moments in life and then there are smack-you-upside-the-head moments. This weekend, I think I experienced the latter.

I’m an over-analyzer by nature. (I know you’re simply shocked by that revelation.) So this weekend, after I finished reading a thriller in almost one sitting (Lisa Jewell’s None of This Is True - great, btw), I was recording the book in my book journal, and my overanalyzing brain kicked in…

Brain: Wow, Roni. It’s really interesting that you’ve been reading a lot of darker fiction this year. Look at that list of last books read…thriller, horror, thriller/horror, suspense, sci-fi thriller.

Me: Uh-huh, move along, nothing to see here.

Brain: And hmm, of the 46 books you’ve read so far this year, how many are romances, Ms. Romance Writer?

Me: *waves hand dismissively* a few, I think

Brain: You should count.

Me: Fine. The answer is…two. I’ve read two.

Brain:

Me:

So yeah. Two of forty-six. Not a good percentage. (Don’t make me do math.)

I wasn’t totally unaware of this shift in my reading, but I’ve been attributing it to burnout. I’m burnt out on writing, so I’m not reading what I usually would write. That made sense.

However, lately, I’ve been feeling a lot better. I’ve been, dare I say, feeling good. I’m exercising daily. I’m eating well. I’m doing things with my family that I enjoy. I’m taking time for myself to do things that bring me energy and joy. I don’t feel like I’m in burnout anymore. Yet…

I’m still not getting book ideas or getting the desire to write. So what the hell is up?

But then I ran across this interview with author Nancy Holder, who I wasn’t familiar with but who apparently used to write romance and now writes horror and Buffy universe stuff. They asked her how she got into horror and this was her answer:

I started writing romance novels because I was very interested in history. I became one of the first members of the Romance Writers of San Diego, which is a chapter of the Romance Writers of America. After awhile, I got kind of bored. A horror writer told me “Go to your bookcase and see what you’re reading and that’s what you should write.”

So I moved from romance into horror.

Now, before we get our pitchforks out, she’s not saying romance is boring. She’s saying she got bored writing what she was writing. (Something I experienced when I attempted to write a new book earlier this year.) And so she looked at what she was reading to guide her to the next phase in her career.

This was the smack-in-the-head moment for me. Hold up, is this just growing pains?? Creatively speaking. A perimenopause of writing, if you will, lol.

I’ve mentioned before that on the Strengthsfinder test, I’m #1 Learner and #2 Input. Learner, my top strength, means I am most happy when learning (and teaching). Input is happy when researching. This combo is a guiding force in my life. So what happens to a number one Learner if she keeps writing in the same zone?

Right. Boredom. Nothing new to learn. No growth.

And yes, there’s always more to learn. I’m not saying I know everything there is to know about contemporary and/or erotic romance, obviously. However, I’ve learned enough to teach an 8-week class on it for years. I’ve written 20+ books in that zone. Even with past series, I haven’t been interested in writing something unless I find a new weird angle to go about it (romance with a school shooting backstory, anyone?)

So maybe I’ve moved out of burnout (finally!) but am up against another challenge: where can I find that beginner’s mind/learning energy that will excite me about writing a new book? How can I grow and/or transition into some new version of writer me?

If I look to my current shelves, I’ve definitely shifted darker in my reading. I don’t know what that means exactly for my writing. I do still love a love story. But maybe that will be an element in the next book, not the main plot? I’ve joked for years that I should write a romantic horror since horror was my first fiction love, but maybe that shouldn’t be a joke and there’s something there. Who knows? (*burns all thoughts of “author brand” to the ground* lol)

I don’t know. I’ve only been recently smacked in the face with this, and I’m still processing. However, I’m sharing this with y’all because it may be a question that could help you, too. Are you burnt out or are you creatively evolving? Or maybe it’s a combo.

And this can definitely depend on your personality. Some writers are creatively lit up by writing in the same zone or series or world or about the same characters for a very long time. They grow by getting deeper and deeper into that thing. And many writers are very successful in doing that. It’s great for consistent branding, too. You do you. But if that’s not you, maybe this is something to think about.

Also, for further reading, I liked this article about 5 romantic fiction authors who (successfully) switched to writing thrillers (including Lisa Jewell, who I mentioned above.)

That’s all for now. I’d love to hear your thoughts? Anyone else feeling like they may be experiencing creativity growing pains?

*Book links are affiliate links (Amazon, Libro.fm, and/or Bookshop.org), which means I earn a small commission if you buy through my links. Also, I receive advanced listening copies of some audiobooks through Libro.fm’s Influencer program. However, all reviews and opinions are my own.