Just a little patience, yeahhh
*sing along with me*
Welcome to the post in which I show my age and sing a Guns N’ Roses song to my muse. You know, “I’ve been walking the streets at night in the day just trying to get it right. It’s so hard to see with so many [ideas] around…”
Okay, I’ll stop, but really, that’s why I’ve been a little quiet over here these last couple of weeks. Last time, I talked about how longhand writing was working.
An update on that: I’m continuing to write my morning pages longhand. I’ve almost filled a whole notebook and have emptied two pens! And I have written a few more scenes in longhand, but there hasn’t been a steady flow because I’m in an interesting new writing place.
Normally, I would be under a deadline. When under a deadline, I have to push forward no matter what, which can be good in some ways. However, it can also make me charge ahead in a direction I’m not totally feeling great about because I need to get words. Then, I get stuck down the line because I’ve taken a wrong turn. (This is why things like NaNoWriMo tend not to be for me.) And that leaves me with a big ol’ mess to deal with.
I felt that hold-up-wait-a-second moment happen when I was writing this time and instead of charging forward, I let myself pause. The characters wanted to be in an entirely different state and city, which brought in new elements I hadn’t originally planned for—but ones that I liked better. It also brought in new characters I hadn’t intended to have. Under-Deadline Me would’ve said, Hey, characters, get in line, I don’t have time for your shenanigans. I have to write THIS story.
However, this time, I gave the story and characters some space. I gave my thoughts some space. My subconscious knows things, by definition, that I don’t yet know. There may be a better story, a more interesting story right under the surface that’s trying to work its way out and it’s sending smoke signals to me—Slow down, lady. We’re working on something good.
Like Stephen King’s metaphor of the “boys in the basement.”
“There is a muse, but he’s not going to come fluttering down into your writing room and scatter creative fairy-dust all over your typewriter or computer. He lives in the ground. He’s a basement kind of guy. You have to descend to his level, and once you get down there you have to furnish an apartment for him to live in. You have to do all the grunt labor, in other words, while the muse sits and smokes cigars and admires his bowling trophies and pretends to ignore you. Do you think it’s fair? I think it’s fair. He may not be much to look at, that muse-guy, and he may not be much of a conversationalist, but he’s got inspiration. It’s right that you should do all the work and burn all the mid-night oil, because the guy with the cigar and the little wings has got a bag of magic. There’s stuff in there that can change your life. Believe me, I know.”
― Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft
I need to continue to work, but that doesn’t necessarily mean forcing words. These new elements have more moving parts. Some parts will fit together, some won’t. Some will need to be cut. Some I don’t know yet.
There is a solution to the puzzle, but I don’t have it yet. I’m constantly working on it. I’m doing my morning pages. I’m taking media-free walks. I’m brainstorming on paper. I’m reading relevant books.
I have this feeling that all the pieces that are floating around in my head, all the snippets of scenes are going to fall into the right place and then the story will pour out, but I can’t force those pieces together. I have to keep giving my brain input and time to find the right fit.
So, I’m trying to be something I’m not naturally…patient. Actively patient, though.
I’m not stopping. This isn’t a block. This is part of the process.
By the way, I’m not one of those writers who will tell you writer’s block doesn’t exist. That’s bullshit. It exists—in different ways and in different forms and for different reasons for different people. It annoys me when writers or writing teachers tell other writers what they’re feeling isn’t real. But I also think that sometimes we think something is a block when really, we just are trying to rush the process.
So here I am, not rushing. But working. Sending cookies down to the girls in the basement.
In Other News…
One of the ideas I got during this thinking process was not about my book but about this newsletter and this summer.
Since starting this newsletter, I’ve heard from a lot of you, and I know I’m not alone in writer burnout land. So, I’m planning something for this summer to hopefully help give us all a boost of writing love: The Summer of Love (of Writing)
More details will be coming soon, but I’m really excited about it! :)
So, if you know other writers who you think would benefit from this newsletter and this type of content, please share! :)
That’s all for now. How are things going for you?
I was such a Guns 'n Roses fan back in the day! I miss the days of vinyl where you could just walk out of a record store with a new prized possession. I do like streaming and having all the world's music at my fingertips but there was just something about browsing in those record stores. Sigh, feeling nostalgic (and old).
There really is something about writing longhand that makes it all feel less daunting. Jennifer Lynn Barnes had a Twitter thread a while back about how she blocks out her scenes in a notebook, sketches out the dialogue and only when she's done with that, she writes the scene out on her laptop. Paraphrasing but I believe that was the gist of it. Definitely going to give that a try when I've found some mental space to write again.
I've been trying to learn to be patient too, but it's a tightrope walk. I'm discovering that I am very pressure driven, so deadlines work for me. But they have to be a deadline I promise to someone else because I can lie to myself all day long. When my characters story aren't working for me, I do keep moving ahead, but it's more a tiptoe than a sprint. I find I can usually write my way out of whatever is "wrong" if I just poke at it rather than charging in. Curious to see what you have in store!