My Word of the Year: EVOLVE

What I've learned in the years after burnout

Burnt Matchsticks on White Background by Maksim Goncharenok

Happy New Year!

It’s been a while. Sorry about that. :) I’ve been busy with holiday things, coaching, and launching a new version of my main newsletter, Happy for Now, with plans to turn it into a paid subscription starting next month! That’s been a lot of fun.

But today I wanted to pop in here and talk about my word of the year. I know some people think the practice of picking a word for each year is silly, but I’ve found it to be very helpful as a guiding light throughout the year.

Last Year’s Word

My word for 2024 was CONNECT because I was feeling a little isolated and checked out from the writing community going into last year. But I had just finished my Gallup Strengths Coaching certification and was looking forward to re-engaging.

I think the word was a success for me. I connected with other writers here in this newsletter. I went to an in-person writing conference (BFA Con) for the first time since the pandemic. I taught a workshop for Inkers Con online. And best of all, I spent hours each week meeting with other writers, getting to know them, and coaching them both in individual and group sessions.

I expected to enjoy coaching. My master’s degree is in social work and my undergrad is in psychology. I used to be a therapist, so I already knew I liked working with others to tackle issues they may be dealing with.

But I couldn’t have known until I started how well coaching would merge the things I liked best about being a therapist (uncovering the roots of problems, providing support, strategizing solutions, seeing progress) without the things I didn’t (red tape, insurance, etc.) A coaching relationship is different, more collaborative, more tactical, less formal.

I’ve truly enjoyed working with each of my clients and have been so impressed watching how hard they’ve worked this past year. I’ve gotten and am continuing to get real joy from coaching, so I’m calling that my biggest win of 2024!

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By the way, if you’d like to book a coaching appointment with me, you can do that here if you’d like a one-time appointment. If you’d like once-a-month regular coaching, I currently have one spot left on that list. (Just click here and scroll down and choose the Roni Loren tier.)

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The 2025 Word

So what about this year?

This year I’ve settled on the world EVOLVE.

Dictionary.com offers these definitions:

• to come forth gradually into being; develop

• to gradually change one's opinions or beliefs

• Biology. to develop by a process of evolution to a different adaptive state or condition:

And the word comes from the Latin word that means “to unroll, open, unfold.”

I like a lot of things about these definitions, particularly the gradual part and this sense of unrolling or unfolding. It’s growth with adaptive change.

Life is long (hopefully), and I think we can sometimes get locked into a specific version of ourselves because it’s familiar or safe or is giving us something we don’t want to let go of, but really, we’re actually feeling stagnant or trapped in some former version of ourselves and the proverbial clothes don’t fit anymore. Everything is a little itchy and tight.

My pre-burnout self was a different person. I can’t wear her clothes anymore. And that sounds really sad, but I’m not feeling that at all. I’m actually feeling the best I have in a long time. I think maybe the years since burnout have been a sort of grieving process that I’m now on the other side of. I don’t want that lady’s life anymore.

Yes, she had books coming out multiple times a year and was getting lovely accolades and going to book signings and doing all the things an author gets to do. But she was also running herself into the ground. She was skipping vacations with her family. She was getting sick all the time because she wasn’t taking care of herself. She wasn’t reading for fun anymore. She was often consumed with figuring out the next scene in her book even when she was away from her desk and supposed to be present in her actual life.

So, no. I don’t want to wear those clothes anymore.

I think I was still holding on to some threads at the start of last year, but as it went on, I could feel myself letting go of them one by one. This doesn’t mean I won’t write another book or another romance. What it means is that I’m not tying my identity to book production anymore.

For the first time in almost fifteen years, I did not put “write x number of books” as one of my big goals this year. If I get hit with a great story idea, fantastic, I will write it. But if I’m inspired to do other things—coaching, teaching workshops, writing a paid newsletter, writing non-fiction, etc.—I will embrace it and not feel like I’ve dropped some big ball.

That’s my own version of evolution.

The One Thing

One of the questions I’ve been asking clients in sessions recently is, “At the end of 2025, when you look back, what one thing/accomplished goal would make the year feel like it was a success for you?” (I only let them pick one or maybe two things because my dear fellow Achievers will be like THESE FORTY-FIVE THINGS! :) )

For me, this year, it’s consistent movement. I know it’s a basic one, but that also means it’s a foundational one. I’m good at hitting goals, but the one that is on my list each year and ends in a fail is exercise. I’m 45 and would like to live a long time, so that’s my one thing this year. If I can consistently exercise, I’ll consider the year a success.

That doesn’t mean that’s all I’m doing, of course, but it does mean that it goes first on the list each day before all else.

If I can learn to move daily and like exercise, that will be a true evolution, y’all. :)

Did you pick a word of the year? Do you have one big thing you’d like to accomplish by the end of the year? I’d love to hear in the comments! (Or feel free to hit reply on the email if you don’t want to share it publicly.)